Financial website writers, match headlines to content or lose readers

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Your web pages should deliver on the promise made by your headlines. That doesn’t happen in the economic commentary example shown below (with company name blacked out). 

Economic commentary example

Let’s look at what went wrong, so you can avoid these mistakes.

1. Most of the paragraph is unrelated to the headline

A Wall Street Journal report about bank surcharges has nothing to do with the headline topic of “Emerging Markets Continue Impressive Growth While Developed Markets Continue Recovery.” Emerging markets don’t enter the picture until the last two sentences of the paragraph.

2. Too-long paragraph lacks WIIFM and topic sentence

The paragraph is so long and dense that it’s likely to scare away all but the most motivated readers. Writing for the web demands that short chunks replace massive blocks of information. The content doesn’t explain its WIIFM—what’s in it for me. To catch busy readers’ attention, you need to make it clear why they’ll benefit from your content. For example, will you help them to understand why emerging markets’ growth will outpace that of developed markets, making them an important component of a diversified portfolio? The example in the image above fails the WIIFM test.

The paragraph also lacks a strong topic sentence that introduces its overall topic. To me, it reads as if a person saw an interesting article in The Wall Street Journal and spouted reactions off the top of his or her head, and then moved on to a Financial Times article and, finally, a thought about the emerging markets.

3. The graph isn’t supported by the text

The “World Economy — Gross Domestic Product (GDP)” graph in the web page’s image doesn’t relate to the accompanying text. A good writer would have related the headline and the graph in his or her text, instead of rambling about banking.

How to fix this page?

Fixing this page would require one of two approaches. First, throw out all of the text, except possibly a revised version of the last two sentences, and create new content focused on the growth of emerging vs. developed markets, as shown by the graph, other data in the clickable link, and other evidence.

The second approach would require throwing out the current headline and graph to focus on the implications of the Fed’s capital surcharge. The banking text would need a drastic rewrite to become more focused and less flabby.

Writing sensitively about tragedy in your investment commentary or blog

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Tragedy strikes more often than you’d like. It could be an event like the initial Malaysian Airlines plane disappearance, the Boston Marathon bombings, or something that happened in your community. Discussing tragedies can bring us closer together. It can make stale topics timely. However, it can also offend and disturb your readers, as discussed in “‘Epicurious’ Enrages Followers With Boston Bombings Tweets” on the Mashable blog or “This Guy’s Replies to 9/11 Brand Tweets Sum Up Everything That’s Wrong With 9/11 Brand Tweets.” You need to tread carefully. I have some thoughts about how to manage this challenge.

writing sensitively about tragedy infographic

1. Acknowledge the tragedy

Before you dive into the bottom-line implications of the events, acknowledge that it’s a tragedy that affects human lives. You might write something like “We are all hoping for a happy ending in the disturbing case of…” or “We are deeply distressed by the…”

2. Consider your context

Context matters. Let’s consider three scenarios for writing about airline stocks the day after the March 8 disappearance of Malaysian Airlines Flight 370.

Scenario one: Airlines analyst for a buy-side investment management firm

When you’re a securities analyst, writing about events that move stock prices is an essential part of your job. You can’t avoid it. Plus, if you’re a buy-side analyst, what you write will stay within your firm (unless you speak with the press). This gives you more freedom than writers who communicate with the general public. Your audience needs to know what effect an airlines disaster will have on the stocks you follow. In fact, it would be irresponsible to ignore the potential impact.

Still, you don’t want to be seen as gloating over an investment opportunity created by a tragedy. That’s ghoulish.

Scenario two: Wealth manager writing a client newsletter

When you write a newsletter for clients, you’ll have a feel for their sensibilities. Also, you’ll know what they expect from you—whether it’s coldly objective analysis or a warmly personal take on news that affects their finances.

If your clients value objectivity and data above all, I believe you can discuss the bottom-line implications of the tragedy after a quick acknowledgment of the sad event’s effect on people’s lives. Still, there may be more sensitive folks among your readers. Think about whether you need to discuss the tragedy now. If your newsletter discussion would be just as relevant later, then consider waiting.

Scenario three: Writer of a blog for general consumption

You’re at the greatest risk when you publish your thoughts in a medium that anyone can find online, such as a blog or op-ed piece. Tread carefully. Consider how you would feel if you or your family experienced the tragedy in question. Acknowledge that this is a serious event that hurts people. Be especially careful if you’re publishing where you’re likely to be read by people directly affected by the tragedy.

3. Consider the timing

Writing about a tragedy as it unfolds is different from writing about it six months or even one week later. Feelings are most raw in the early days. You must balance these emotions against the fact that whatever you write—especially if you’re an analyst covering securities that are directly affected by the tragedy—may be most valuable in those early days.

4. Get a second opinion

Not sure how your piece will be perceived? Ask someone you trust and respect for feedback. You’ll get the most helpful feedback from someone in your target audience, especially if they’re candid.

Depending on their audience, you may decide that an event is too painful for them to read about at this point.

YOUR opinion?

How would YOU like financial authors to deal with tragic events in their writing? I’m eager to hear your thoughts and insights.

(By the way, I’d like to thank the participant in my presentation to the Baltimore CFA Society who asked the question that sparked this blog post.)

 

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Free help for wordy writers!

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Wordiness is a curse. Long-winded writing obscures your meaning and scares off readers. However, many writers don’t realize that their writing is dragging on and on.

A free online tool—the Hemingway App—can help you recognize when your sentences are too long. Hemingway highlights sentences that are too long. It also suggests some ways to improve your writing. You could identify long sentences using your word processing software, but Hemingway is easier to use.

I’ll walk you through how to use Hemingway.

Step 1. Drop your text into the middle of the Hemingway page

Entering your text into the Hemingway app is a little more complicated than I expected, but it’s worth the effort. First, click to select all of the colored text in the middle column that starts with “Hemingway App makes your writing bold and clear.” Then, hit “delete.” You’ll see a blank space in the middle of your screen.

Next, either type or copy-paste in the text that you’d like to analyze. As soon as you drop in your text, Hemingway will analyze it.

 

Step 2. Look at Hemingway’s grade level analysis

Look first at Hemingway’s overall rating of your text. The image below says the sample below is written at a grade 17 level. You may think, “Great! My clients are sophisticated, so aiming at a graduate-school level is fine.” Think again. Grade level measures how hard you’re making your reader work. Do you want your readers to struggle or to easily absorb your message?Hemingway Grade 17

Direct marketers aim for grade eight. On its home page, Hemingway shows grade seven as “good.” You might be able to hit that level in a personal finance blog post, but it’s too hard for more formal financial communications that discuss technical topics. I figure I’m doing a good job if my client materials hit grade level 10.

Your grade level gives you a “big picture” indication of how hard you should work to simplify your writing.

 

Step 3. Review Hemingway’s assessment of your sentence length

Hemingway will color code your text according to its wordiness, as you’ll see in the example below. Red means a sentence is “very hard to read” because of length, as in the first sentence in the image below. Yellow isn’t as bad, but it’s also too long, as you can see in the sample paragraph’s second and third sentences.

 

Hemingway analysis of ECB sample

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Step 4. Start simplifying

Hemingway also uses highlighting to suggest some simple fixes by using fewer adverbs and simpler words or eliminating the passive voice.

Hemingway’s suggestions are just a starting point. Complex sentences require a re-thinking of the content. That’s what it took for me to go from the sample paragraph in Step 2 to my rewrite below:

Prices of riskier investments rose in response to recent proposals by German and French leaders, but we are skeptical that this will continue. Investors seem to believe that the proposals will strengthen the euro zone by capping bond yields. This would make euro-zone bonds more attractive to private investors. However, success would require the European Central Bank (ECB) to use strong language or to boost its daily purchases of the troubled countries’ debt by at least €5 billion. To convince distrustful investors will require strong action. That may be more than the ECB can achieve.

If you’d like to learn more about shortening and simplifying your complex sentences, check out my publications and my presentations for do-it-yourself tips. I also edit materials, typically for larger firms with bigger budgets.

Famous quotes make your commentary memorable

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It’s hard to make your investment commentary stand out. After all, everybody’s writing about the same facts. However, adept use of quotes can make your commentary memorable.

For example, here’s how The Wall Street Journal’s “Ahead of the Tape” column started with a quote from the Bible (Matthew 20:16) on June 30, 2014:

Similarities between Scripture and financial markets are rare, but one verse seems to be a recurring theme: “The first shall be last, and the last shall be first.”

The writer, Spencer Jakab, explained the quote’s application in his column’s second paragraph.

Pundits and investors alike have a tendency to extrapolate the recent past into future expectations. That often is a recipe for disappointment.

The rest of the column discussed examples of Jakab’s theme. For example, commodities, which disappointed in 2013, were rebounding at the time of his article. Readers may remember Jakab’s quote—and the related lesson—long after they’ve forgotten which asset classes lag or outperform.

The column concluded by circling back to the Bible, saying “to everything there is a season,” a reference to a famous passage from Ecclesiastes. Nice symmetry there!

Plain language: Let’s get parenthetical

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Plain language makes your documents more appealing and easier to understand. But circumstances may require you to use jargon. For example, you may be a financial marketer or professional working for bosses or departments that insist on using technical or unfamiliar terms.

You can help reader comprehension by explaining the term in the sentence where it first appears. Parenthetical explanations are useful, whether you literally enclose the explanation in parentheses or set it off using some other technique.

Here’s a good example from The Wall Street Journal (June 28-29, 2014), p. A2:

“We are in a Goldilocks-like age at the moment,” said asset manager Jack Flaherty, referring to markets perceived as not too hot and not too cold—just right.

Goldilocks is a colorful image for readers who grew up with the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. However, it has a specific meaning in a financial context, so it demands explanation. Otherwise, the reader may wonder if “Goldilocks-like” refers to folks who wander into other people’s houses or try out different beds.

Option 1. Explain technical terms between commas

One classic approach to explaining technical terms is to use the term and then add an explanation that’s set off between commas. Here are examples:

  • “And the duration of the index, a measure of how sensitive bond prices are to changes in yield, has risen to seven years from 5.8.”—WSJ (June 30, 2014), p. C6
  • “Much of the focus on the ‘Volcker rule,’ which bans most speculative trading by banks, has been on how it forced them to rein in trading desks.”—WSJ (July 1, 2014), p. C12
  • “Foremost is free cash flow, or what is left over to reward shareholders after investment needs have been met.”—WSJ (July 2, 2014), p. C1

By the way, I’m using examples from The Wall Street Journal to combat the idea that your sophisticated readers will be insulted if you explain technical terms to them. Plenty of very smart investment professionals read The Wall Street Journal daily. I’ve never seen one throw it aside in disgust with its style of writing.

Option 2. Put the plain language first

Another approach is to start with the plain language and then add the technical term or nickname, as in the examples below:

  •  “The Australian dollar, also known as the Aussie, has risen 6.5% against the year, making it the second-best-performing major currency after the New Zealand dollar.”—WSJ (July 2, 2014), p. C4 — This is an example of introducing the less familiar term parenthetically.
  •  “David Einhorn of the hedge fund Greenlight Capital recently observed that some companies he is betting against—or selling short, in Wall Street parlance — have become the targets of takeovers, even though, in his view, they have significant weaknesses.”—The New York Times (August 8, 2014)

Option 3. Avoid using the technical term

When possible, it’s great to avoid using the technical term. I bet nine out of 10 financial experts would have used the term “spread” in the following sentence: “Investors have flocked to the $1.6 trillion junk-bond market in recent years, attracted by the income the bonds paid above debt perceived as safer issued by investment-grade companies at a time of historically low interest rates.”—The Wall Street Journal (July 25, 2014)

By the way, if you need help talking your executives into using plain language, check out my MarketingProfs article on “Seven Ways to Talk Your Financial Execs Out of Jargon and Bad Writing” (registration required).

Avoid this option: Enclose the explanation in parentheses

Did you expect me to recommend the use of actual parentheses? I didn’t find any good examples of parentheses usage in The Wall Street Journal. Actual parentheses can be distracting, as explained in “Better writing without parentheses,” by my friend Harriett Magee.

 

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Beating financial writer’s block with author Julia Cameron

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Every writer runs out of ideas or the will to write at some point. This happens to financial writers as well as novelists and other, more artistic authors.

What can you do? One option is to learn from the exercises of creative writers, such as those in Julia Cameron’s The Right to Write: An Invitation and Initiation into the Writing Life.

Here’s one of Cameron’s exercises:

Pretend that you are sitting under a large tree with your back resting on its trunk. On the other side of the tree, a Storyteller sits also resting against the tree trunk. Take a sheet of paper and number from one to five. Tell the Storyteller five things you’d like to hear stories about.

Here are five topics that popped into my head:

  1. How to target your blog to attract ideal clients
  2. How to create a powerful social media presence in 20 minutes a day
  3. How to use your easily distracted personality to your advantage in marketing
  4. How to show your appreciation for your amazingly supportive connections on social media
  5. How to keep marketing when you’re busy with other stuff

I’m curious. What are YOUR five topics?

Also, what techniques do you use to beat writer’s block? I’m always interested in learning from you.

Disclosure: If you click on the Amazon link in this post and then buy something, I will receive a small commission. I only link to books in which I find some value for my blog’s readers.

Confidence–good or bad for writers?

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“Confidence is a bad thing to have as a drug addict. No drug addict deserves confidence.” This quote by actress-writer Carrie Fisher in a Wall Street Journal Magazine‘s roundup about the topic started me thinking about the role of confidence for writers.

Confidence helps

A little confidence is a good thing. Without it, you’d never touch your fingers to the keyboard. Nor would you share your words with the world.

It’s important to write to help you refine your ideas and to educate and persuade your readers. Once you create a first draft, you can review and refine it.

Don’t become overconfident

Too much confidence can hurt writers. You may become sloppy or stop learning. Most writers believe that we must continue to work at improving our craft as writers.

 

Image courtesy of Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Ssh, don’t tell my husband: A writing tip

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I love Floyd Norris, the “Off the Charts” columnist for The New York Times. That’s what you shouldn’t tell my husband. However, if you’re an investment professional or financial advisor who writes, you should love him, too. Why? Because he writes clearly and in an engaging manner about markets and the economy.

You can find ideas in how Norris

  • Writes his ledes, those first sentences or paragraphs of your articles, blog posts, or investment commentary—I discuss this in “Snare more readers with this technique from Floyd Norris“
  • Uses charts and graphs, a key component of white papers, investment commentary, and many other financial communications
  • Uses words skillfully—I discuss this in “Plain English can bring your financial topic to life”
    Vary your paragraph length like NYT columnist Floyd Norris – See more at: http://investmentwriting.com/2008/08/vary-your-paragraph-length-like-nyt-columnist-floyd-norris/#sthash.bQXhEren.dpuf

For more examples of lessons I’ve learned from Norris, read:

Financial writers clinic: Lessons from Floyd Norris of The New York Times – See more at: http://investmentwriting.com/2010/03/financial-writers-clinic-lessons-from-floyd-norris-of-the-new-york-times/#sthash.OuCURNky.dpuf
Financial writers clinic: Lessons from Floyd Norris of The New York Times – See more at: http://investmentwriting.com/2010/03/financial-writers-clinic-lessons-from-floyd-norris-of-the-new-york-times/#sthash.OuCURNky.dpuf

 

 

Ask your reader’s questions, says Donald Murray

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When you write, ask the questions your readers want answered, as journalist Donald M. Murray suggests in Writing to Deadline: The Journalist at Work.Writing to Deadline by Donald Murray

Murray found that the most important questions

…were not the questions I wanted to ask or even the questions my editor told me to ask. They were the questions that the reader would ask and if I did not answer them the reader would be unsatisfied.

For example, let’s assume you’re writing about education savings accounts. As a financial professional, you may be fascinated by the gritty details of each account time, the exceptions to the account rules, or how the accounts can help you with a specific client in an unusual situation.

Your questions will differ from those of your readers. They may ask the following questions:

  • What are the “big picture” differences between account types?
  • Which account is right for me and my family?
  • Are there any pitfalls I should understand?
  • How do I open an account?

Murray suggests that writers should seek to identify five key questions from the reader’s perspective. Sometimes, he admits, you’ll end up with fewer or provide the information that your that your reader seeks. The main thing is to provide information that your reader seeks.

Murray also says that “When I come to write the story, I order the questions in the sequence I think the reader will ask them.” This is a good tip for you, too.

As I emphasize in Financial Blogging: How to Write Powerful Posts That Attract Clients, it’s important to understand the perspective of your target audience. When you address their concerns, you’ll deepen your connection with them.

Disclosure: If you click on the Amazon link in this post and then buy something, I will receive a small commission. I only link to books in which I find some value for my blog’s readers.

How to capitalize financial acronyms

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Is it “LIBOR” or “Libor”? I’m startled by seeing the acronym for the London Interbank Offered Rate spelled with only the initial letter capitalized. I believe that every letter of an acronym should be capitalized to communicate that the word is an acronym, a form of abbreviation created from initial letters or syllables of a term such as the London Interbank Offered Rate.

Garner’s Modern American Usage agrees that using all capitals is common in American English, but the British tend to capitalize only the first letter. Perhaps the U.K. is the origin of this practice spreading to the U.S. According to Amy Einsohn’s A Copyeditor’s Handbook: A Guide for Book Publishing and Corporate Communications, many newspapers now use “Initial cap only for acronyms five letters or longer that are pronounced as words.” For example, “Nafta” or “Erisa.”

I don’t like the trend to mix the upper and lower cases in acronyms, turning LIBOR into Libor. Spelling an acronym using only upper-case letters gently reminds the reader that the term is an acronym. This is helpful, in my opinion.

To define and use parentheses or not?

Acronyms are often spelled out when first used in a document. For example, the Employee Retirement Income Security Act (ERISA). However, Einsohn says, “In documents addressed to scientists, technical experts, and other professional experts, acronyms that are standard in the field may usually be used without any introduction.”

In the case of LIBOR, the spelled-out term doesn’t mean much to readers. It’s useful to describe how LIBOR is used, for example, as a benchmark for short-term interest rates.

 

Disclosure: If you click on the Amazon link in this post and then buy something, I will receive a small commission. I only link to books in which I find some value for my blog’s readers.