Vary your paragraph length like NYT columnist Floyd Norris

It can be painful to read a page full of long sentences and longer paragraphs. That’s why, when I teach “How to Write Investment Commentary that People Will Read,” I suggest that people vary the length of their sentences and paragraphs.

New York Times columnist Floyd Norris illustrates this nicely in the print version of his articleNo Profit Without Risk.”

In the print version, a two-line paragraph follows an eight-line paragraph and a 10-line paragraph. The contrast between two vs. eight and ten in the print version is starker than what you’ll see in the online article. By the way, the online article goes by a different title than the print version, so please don’t tell me I got his title wrong.

The short third paragraph comes as a relief. It gives the reader a chance to breathe. Plus, its shortness emphasizes the contrast between the content of the first two paragraphs and third.

In fact, Norris’ opening three paragraphs illustrate a classic article approach that goes like this:

People thought blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah

They were wrong.

So, think about mixing up your sentence and paragraph lengths the next time you write. Your readers will reward you by paying attention longer.

"Tired of having too much money at the end of the month?"

Sometimes you have to say something unexpected to grab your reader’s attention.


Something like, “Tired of having too much money at the end of the month?” That’s a headline that snared me recently. Aren’t you usually concerned about the opposite problem, of having too little money at the end of the month?

In Made to Stick: Why Some Ideas Survive and Others Die, authors Chip Heath and Dan Heath say, “The most basic way to get someone’s attention is this: Break a pattern. Humans adapt incredibly quickly to consistent patterns.” 

“Surprise jolts us to attention,” as the Heaths say.

Can you use surprise in your next client communication? PIMCO’s Paul McCulley did it in “A Kind Word for Inflation.”

What should you call your white paper?

“Should you always label a white paper with the term ‘white paper’?”


Michael Stelzner asks this question on his Writing White Papers blog.

My answer: it depends.

When you say “white paper” to financial advisors, they probably know what you’re talking about. In fact, the term conjures up the image of a helpful tool.

Say “white paper” to an ordinary investor and you’re likely to get a blank look. In this case, it’s far better to call it a “special report” or even just an “article.”

What do you think?

"The Top Seven B2B Communications Mistakes"

The Top Seven B2B Communications Mistakes” offers some useful advice for investment and wealth management marketers, whether you’re targeting businesses or individuals.


For example:

  1. Your content should reflect your prospects’ top concerns.
  2. “Don’t sell. Inform.”

When I review investment and wealth management firms’ content, I often find it focused on them, not on their clients. It takes a mighty motivated buyer to plow through content that takes that approach.

As for informing instead of selling, I don’t think you can follow this rule 100% of the time. But many firms could benefit from taking this advice more frequently.

"Never use a fancy word when a simple one will do"

That’s the bottom line of “Why Jargon Feeds on Lazy Minds” by Scott Berkun.

Moreover, he warns, “Pay attention to who uses the most jargon: it’s never the brightest. It’s those who want to be perceived as the best and the brightest, something they know they are not.”

Berkun offers a list of management jargon that he’d like to ban.

Can you think of financial jargon that should join the list of forbidden terms? Let’s start with “mitigate.” 

You’ll find more suggestions in “Words to avoid in your investment communications with regular folks.”

"Thought Leadership: Are You Making It or Faking It?"

Plenty of investment and wealth management firms try to distinguish themselves as so-called “thought leaders.” Many will fail.

Thought Leadership: Are You Making It or Faking It?” by Fiona Czerniawska says that clients seek:

1. Something relevant to challenges they face
2. Something new and different
3. Something that is supported by hard evidence – a single case study or recycling second-hand ideas is not enough

When you write white papers, make sure you show how your ideas can impact the things your clients care about. If you fail at this, your reader may not progress beyond your first paragraph.

If you can also say something different about a topic that’s in the news, that’s even better.

Don’t use your white paper to pitch your product or service. As Czerniawska advises her consulting firm clients: 

In this context, a call-to-action – perhaps some benchmarking data for clients to compare themselves to or a tool for evaluating their performance – is more likely to result in consulting work in the long-term because it doesn’t try to sell too unsubtly in the short-term.

"Relevant and useful content earns trust. And trust sells."

“Relevant and useful content earns trust. And trust sells.”


I love this tag line from Bob Leonard’s Bolen Communications.

It reminded me of why newsletters are so powerful. Why? Because newsletters that convey a sense of who you are–and that provide relevant and useful content–build trust. And trust sells, just as Bob Leonard says in his tag line. 

Another thing about newsletters. The importance of building trust through relevant, useful content argues against putting a lot of promotional copy in your newsletter. Sales writing may interfere with your building your relationship with your audience.

 

Optimism watch: The case for maximum pessimism

Is the stock market getting you down? I’m starting an “Optimism watch” on this blog. 

In “Optimism watch” posts, I’ll highlight the case that other writers make for you and your clients to hang in there.

Let’s start with a quote from “Nowhere to Hide: Foreign Funds are Falling, Too,” from Morningstar’s Bridget Hughes.

…before you fall into deep despair, I’d remind you that the late Sir John Templeton made a highly successful career investing where he saw “maximum pessimism.” We’ve been here before. Markets are cyclical. Keeping a truly long-term perspective (10 years or more) can be liberating, and you may realize this is a time to add to your holdings.

Related posts on the Investment Writing blog:

"Can not" vs. "cannot"

Which is right? “Can not” or “cannot”?

Habit tells me “cannot,” but I can’t find this peculiar spelling in the index of any of my style guides.

However, Wikipedia gives me this quote, in which I’ve added the bolding to “cannot”:
In this regard, the following quotation from The Chicago Manual of Style deserves notice:

Rules and regulations such as these, in the nature of the case, cannotbe endowed with the fixity of rock-ribbed law. They are meant for theaverage case, and must be applied with a certain degree of elasticity.

I haven’t thought about this issue in years. I usually work around it by using “can’t.”

What’s your practice?

This is a reposting of one of the most popular posts on one of my predecessor blogs. I originally posted it in April 2006.

ACLI promises better disclosures about annuities

The American Council of Life Insurers (ACLI) is promising to improve disclosure about annuities in cooperation with the National Association for Variable Annuities (NAVA), according to “User-Friendly Annuity Documents Planned,” an article on the Financial Advisor website.

Maybe they could start with the so-called “easy to read tip sheet” for seniors on their website. It sports plenty of jargon. Like “current credited interest rate”–a term that I couldn’t even find in the ACLI’s glossary. The same goes for “subaccount.”

The ACLI and NAVA are tackling a tough job. I wish them good luck.