Bring your questions and writing implements to my FPA Experience session

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You’ll get the most benefit from “Writing Emails and Letters People Will Read,” my September 29 presentation, if you bring your questions, writing implements, and a printout of my handout.

I will ask you to write down some things so you can work on them in our interactive session. People learn best when they apply new information right away.

Meanwhile, feel free to post your email-related questions here. I may use your questions to jump-start my session’s Q&A. If I don’t get to them in the session, they may inspire blog posts.

Looking forward to meeting you at FPA 2012

If you have trouble commenting on my blog, you may find it easier to comment on my Facebook page. I’d like to hear from you.

Don’t make this mistake in your email subject lines!

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A quirky email subject line made me think my husband was spamming me. He graciously allowed me to use his example to remind you to choose your subject line’s first words carefully.

Bad email subject line

Here’s the email subject line as it appeared on my screen:

Can you see why I was concerned that my husband’s email account had been hacked?

The problem: Your subject lines get cut off

Most people don’t see or absorb your complete subject line. Why?

  • Email software typically shows about 50 characters of your subject line on a PC
  • Mobile devices shorten subject lines even more than computers
  • People pay the most attention to your email subject line’s first words. This is why I suggest that you:
    • Put the most important part of your subject line first
    • Put an action verb near the beginning if you’re asking the recipient to do something for you. For example, “Please tell me if you can attend July 11 meeting.”
    • Start with an informative noun if an action verb isn’t appropriate. For example, “FYI, next committee meeting is August 22.”

A better subject line for my husband

I’ve been mulling over better subject lines for my husband’s email. I think the following would work better:

  • Shredder question: Does yours use oil or lubricant sheets?

YOUR subject line questions

What questions do you have about email subject lines? Your questions will help me prepare for my email presentation at the Financial Planning Association’s conference in San Antonio this fall.

Image courtesy of Kookkai_nak at freedigitalphotos.net.

NAPFA Genesis email example and top lessons

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Click to compare the two versions side-by-side

NAPFA Genesis members and friends, thank you for participating in my recent webinar about writing effective emails! I have two things for you in this post.

  1. An example, with practical tips, of how to rewrite an email contributed by one of your NAPFA colleagues.
  2. A listing of the top lessons that you and your colleagues learned from my webinar. Scroll to the bottom of this post, if this is what you want to read.

Email critique: The original, unedited version

Here is the original email. Names have been changed to protect privacy.

Hello George and Caitlin,

I truly enjoyed catching up and talking with you both at the girls softball game on Wednesday.  Kristen was excited to see Amy and Sophia and Melissa was excited to see Jason!  I’m going to have to keep an eye on my youngest one.

We talked about many things related to your financial well being and truly only scratched the surface.  All the items we touched on from estate planning and trusts to your age differences, college education funding to retirement or financial independence as well as taxes and investments are all interconnected when it comes to building a comprehensive financial plan.  By design, it is a holistic approach that combines the disciplines of investment management, financial planning, and consulting into a personalized solution for you and your family.  Another thing I think would be prudent for us to consider now is re-financing your mortgages given that we’ve hit nearly 40 year lows on longer term mortgages and all time lows on short term mortgages.  A 1% reduction in your mortgage rate could free up significant cash flow for other goals and save an enormous sum over the life of the mortgage.

Please find attached an initial meeting questionnaire that can assist in stimulating thought about things you want and need to address and help set the stage for our initial discussions.  If you have questions about the questionnaire, please do not hesitate to email or call and I’ll be glad to clarify.  The only other items you need to gather for our meeting would be your last two years of tax returns, most recent portfolio and retirement statements and your estate documents if you can easily put your hands on them but if you can not we can touch on that subject later.

My schedule opens up around the second and third weeks of October on Wednesday the 12th or Thursday the 13th  or Tuesday the 18th or Thursday the 20th in either the morning or afternoon on any of those days.  I can only imagine George that your schedule is probably tight, so I am open to meeting whenever might be more convenient for you even on a Saturday or Sunday morning over coffee at your home and I’ll bring the bagels. I look forward to hearing from you soon.  Take care.

Email critique: Revised email

Hello George and Caitlin,

It was great to catch up with you at the girls’ softball game on Wednesday! My girls enjoyed seeing your Amy, Sophia, and Jason, too.

You mentioned some concerns about your finances. Would you like to schedule a mid-October meeting to discuss how we could relieve your worries? It’s difficult for individuals to sort out complex issues—such as age differences, college education funding, and retirement—on their own. This is why many people like you turn to financial advisors who combine the disciplines of investment management, financial planning, and consulting into a personalized solution for you and your family. You may also find unexpected savings. For example, we could look at refinancing your mortgages now that rates are at or near all‑time lows. A 1% reduction in your mortgage rate could save an enormous sum over the life of your mortgage.

Below are some dates when we could meet during the business day. However, I am also open to meeting whenever it might be more convenient for you, even on a weekend morning at your home. I can bring bagels.

  • Wednesday, Oct. 12
  • Thursday, Oct. 13
  • Tuesday, Oct. 18
  • Thursday, Oct. 20

I will call you next week to follow up.

Take care.

My comments on the original and revised emails

STRENGTHS OF THE DRAFT EMAIL

I like that the email writer

  1. Emphasized where he knows the recipients from and showed that he knows their children’s names
  2. Showed knowledge of the recipients’ specific challenges
  3. Suggested how he might save money for the recipients
  4. Suggested specific dates for a meeting
  5. Showed flexibility about when to meet with the recipients

SUGGESTIONS

  • Streamline the polite social chat, so you can hit the action item quickly. For example, naming the recipients’ children is more important than naming your own.
  • Put the action item at the top of your email, immediately after your streamlined social chat.
  • Emphasize the WIIFM—What’s In It For Me—for your email recipient.
  • Shorten sentences.
  • Don’t overwhelm the reader with information. I fear the readers may feel overwhelmed by receiving the new client questionnaire. Send it after they make an appointment.
  • You’ll have a higher success rate over the long haul if you call to follow up than if you wait for your readers to call you.
  • Keep your emails as short as possible. My changes cut the email from 388 words to only 211.

 

Your top lessons from my email webinar

In response to my question, “What’s the most important lesson you learned today?” you typed the following lines into the GoToMeeting question box or in your email to me.

Consider inputting this link into your calendar, with a reminder to check one month from now to see if you’ve improved your emails.

  • The best item I learned was how to simplify what I am writing.  As a detail-oriented person it is not easy to leave out details, but they may be unnecessary!  This is something I will work to improve on.
  • What I learned – Use fewer words per sentence and write shorter paragraphs.  Use simple language.
  • get rid of the “to be” verbs!
  • Firm name in subject line and email signatures. Thanks!
  • Good tip on self-editing to be more concise.
  • What I learned: keep it simple, straightforward, and focused on the reader’s interests
  • Importance of short and direct emails
  • What I learned – you start losing your audience at 42 words per paragraph, 14 words per sentence and 2 syllables per word.
  • Do not assume what is important to you, as the advisor, is the same thing that is important to the reader.  Narrow your importance and simplify the message.
  • WIIFM, 14 14 2
  • Lessons learned: Thinking about WIIFM is an important lesson to consider. I usually understand what I want out of the client, but typically fail to think of how the request will be received and perceived. I also like the idea of [Sorry, this answer was cut off]
  • Learned great tips about simplifying sentences
  • My best take away was keeping Paragraphs and Sentences short.  Also the words not to use.

March 13 email writing class for folks in greater Boston, especially the western suburbs

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“How to Write Business Emails and Letters That People Will Read” is the focus of my March 13, 2012 class.

Your e-mail has only three seconds to grab your reader’s attention. You can’t afford to alienate your readers with sloppy, vague or rambling emails and letters. In this interactive class you’ll learn tips you can apply immediately for

  • Understanding your reader’s perspective
  • Writing in a way that makes it easier for your readers to respond to you
  • Formatting and editing your correspondence to keep your audience reading and hungry for more, and more

The class is offered through Newton Community Education, so it’s convenient for folks in Boston’s western suburbs.

Poll: Should institutional investment managers be likable?

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Photo: jpctalbot

Writing likable emails can help you and your firm differentiate yourselves, as I discussed in “Reader challenge: How can investment and wealth managers apply this tip?”

However, institutional investment managers’ emails aren’t known for likability. In fact, they’re more apt to be formal and impersonal. They may feel this suits their corporate personalities as portfolio managers for corporations, government bodies, foundations, endowments, unions, and other organizations.

Here’s my poll question: Should institutional asset managers strive for likability in their sales, marketing, and client emails? Your choices include the following:

  • Yes, always
  • Yes, most of the time
  • Yes, but only when they have a personal relationship with the recipient
  • No, it doesn’t matter
  • [You can also enter your own answer]

Please answer the poll in the right-hand column of my blog and add your comments below. I’ll publish the results in my e-newsletter.

Reader challenge: How can investment and wealth managers apply this tip?

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“You can differentiate yourself by communicating in a likable, authentic manner,” says author Sue Hershkowitz-Coore in Power Sales Writing. Her book emphasizes email communications.

To write in a likable manner, the author suggests you use the following techniques:

1.      Create a message that genuinely revolves around your prospect.

2.      Use more you and your words than I or me words.

3.      Reflect the prospect’s style.

4.      Start with something that matters to your reader.

5.      Be positive.

6.      Be brief, but not blunt.

7.      Be authentic!

How do YOU rise to this challenge?

Differentiation is a challenge for investment and wealth managers. Please tell me how YOU make yourself likable in your professional communications.

I recommend Power Sales Writing as a good read for any business person who needs to write emails that persuade.

Disclosure: I received a free copy of this book from McGraw-Hill in return for agreeing to write about it.

Guest post: “Subject Lines: Are you reading this?”

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Kristin Harad writes irresistible, conversational email subject lines. I feel as if her emails are addressed to me, so I open them even when they’re part of a mass mailing.

I’m delighted that Kristin shares her subject line secrets in her guest post.

Subject Lines: Are you reading this?

by Kristin Harad, CFP®

When you send email communications to your list, is your subject line an afterthought or a strategic decision? When I started my marketing career, I worked for an agency managing direct mail for a large bank. Unbelievable amounts of time, testing and creativity went into figuring out which 5-10 words on the outer envelope would entice the recipient to OPEN the mailing. To call the practice strategic is an understatement. Open rates were the first measure of success for these expensive campaigns.

In the new world of overflowing Inboxes, email subject lines serve the same purpose as those teasers from the old world of mass direct mail. The primary objective of your subject line is to persuade the recipient to open up your email. You may feel jaded just thinking about trying to be strategic for every subject line you send as you communicate with your database. Relax. To be deliberate with this critical ‘lure’ you just have to select the right style for your specific message and keep the words conversational.

Match your email content with one of the FOUR TYPES of subject lines:

  1. Matter of fact: “Here is the information you requested.” This kind is tried and true. You are delivering information that the reader asked for from you. Without a doubt, this type of subject line has a high open rate. As it should. These can also include compelling How To’s such as “5 ways to lower your heating bill”
  2. Time Sensitive: “Last chance! Registration closes at 5:00pm EST” “Urgent last minute teleseminar” Very effective when you actually have a deadline for an event or an offer. Beware of crying wolf! If everything is always on a deadline, you lose your credibility. Used periodically, these are quite powerful.
  3. Personal: “Kristin, have you seen this?” or the less personal “Did you see this?” A cool feature of some email service providers is the ability to pull in first name into the subject line. Tip: Questions work better than statements. People will actually think you are only asking them. Exclusivity entices.
  4. Evocative: “OMG!!!!!!!!!!!” “A harrowing tale…” Esoteric in nature, these subject lines leave the reader asking “WHAT?! I MUST know.” Try using only one word or make up a crazy word. No one can resist solving a good mystery. Curiosity drives action.

As you can see, what makes a subject line effective depends on the situation. Test out different ones to see what works best for you and your brand. Keep your eyes peeled for the subject lines that make you click and the ones that you delete. Remember, your subject line objective is to engage the reader’s interest just enough to open the email. Then it’s all up to your email copy to drive your reader’s next action.

About the Author:  Kristin Harad, CFP® is the President of VitaVie Financial Planning, a fee-only financial planning firm in San Francisco.  She offers a free video series on marketing strategies for financial advisors at http://www.next10clients.com.

Your email subject lines make a world of difference

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A simple subject line can make or break the open rate for your emails.

Would you click on an email with the following subject line?

Subject: =?windows-1252?Q?Conference=20Planning=20Survey?=

I’m probably not alone in my instinct to trash this email. I figured it was probably the work of an unsophisticated spammer.

Looking at the snippet of email address displayed by my email service didn’t inspire confidence either. All I saw was “marketer-ese.” At best, I figured, this was an email from some market research firm.

However, I felt curious, so I expanded the email line. I discovered the email was from an organization I respect, but won’t name. The full email address was something like marketresearch@ORGANIZATION.com

Your bottom line: Pick your subject line carefully

If the organization had a better subject line, I would have opened it without thinking.  Something simple, such as “ORGANIZATION NAME wants your input” would have done the trick.

Have YOU ever deleted or ignored an email because of a poorly written subject line?

The letter reader who’s your biggest nightmare

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If you’re a sloppy letter writer, then my friend’s old employer is your biggest nightmare. But clean up your writing, and you can win over even this tough customer.

The impatient reader

“How do you go through your mail so quickly?” she asked after watching him flip through letters one after another without pausing.

His reply? “If it’s not in the first sentence, I don’t read it.” People who wrote flowery introductions to their letters had no hope of communicating their messages to this impatient reader.

Your solution

You can reach impatient readers by getting to your point in your first sentence. Tell your readers what you want – and why it should matter to them. For example, “Here’s a review of our recent meeting with a checklist of the actions you must take, so I can implement your plan.” Save the niceties for the end of your letter.

Some financial advisors think it’s rude to write a letter that doesn’t “make nice” for the entire paragraph. Indeed, some of your readers may prefer a leisurely, chatty introduction.

However, a letter that immediately gets to the point is kinder to your readers. It relieves them of the burden of searching through your letter to figure out what you want. You’ll benefit, too. More readers will do what you want when you’re clear up front.

Take a second look at your most recent letter. Is it direct enough?

Guide to e-newsletters

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If you have questions about e-newsletters, mosey on over to “The freelancer’s guide to e-newsletters” on Michelle Rafter’s WordCount blog. I’m quoted extensively in answers to questions including

  • What’s so great about e-newsletters?
  • How long should it be?
  • What kind of software can I use?
  • How can I get subscribers?

If you’re a financial blogger, you can recycle your blog posts in your newsletter, perhaps adding one unique bit of content for your subscribers.

It takes time to build an e-newsletter email list. Even if you don’t think you need one yet, start building your newsletter now.