Reader challenge: Risk management rewrite
It’s time for a reader challenge. How would YOU rewrite the sentence below to make it more compelling and yet stay within compliance guidelines?
Portfolio are managed using the latest risk management techniques.
I’m looking forward to reading your suggestions!
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Copyright 2012 by Susan B. Weiner All rights reserved
This content may not be reposted without the author’s written permission.
This content may not be reposted without the author’s written permission.
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SUSAN WEINER, CFA
September 14th, 2011 at 9:43 am
The most current risk management techniques are used to manage portfolios.
September 14th, 2011 at 12:36 pm
Thank you for weighing it, Judith!
September 14th, 2011 at 1:11 pm
Oops, I meant to say “weighing iN.”
September 14th, 2011 at 3:01 pm
First I’d correct the typo and add an “s” to portfolio!!
What about something like…
We manage your portfolio using sophisticated risk management techniques that are suited to your individual level of risk tolerance.
September 14th, 2011 at 4:04 pm
State of the art risk management drives the portfolio management process.
September 14th, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I agree with Pat Krall that “Portfolio” must be plural and providing a doer (“We”) helps turn a passive sentence into an active one. But from the original sentence, it might be a stretch to suggest that each portfolio is managed to a specific investor’s risk tolerance. If that’s true, great. But if we’re talking about annuity portfolios, unit trusts, or a mutual funds, that conclusion might go way beyond the compliance constraint in the challenge.
My best rewrite: We manage our portfolios with the latest risk-management techniques. Not knowing what those techniques are, I can’t say if they’re “state of the art” techniques. (While that sounds good, it may just be fluff.) But the original said that the techniques were “the latest.”
In my opinion, sentences of this sort aren’t supposed to zoom off the page. They’re designed to calm and reassure investors. So trying to make such statements “more compelling” can backfire (e.g., “We use the latest risk-management techniques to prevent losses and propel our portfolios higher.”) This clearly promises more than even the latest risk management techniques can deliver. “Risk management” is already a euphemism for “we do our best to avoid major losses.” I wouldn’t fiddle with the sentence too much.
September 14th, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Suggestion:
Our portfolio management strategies incorporate the latest risk management techniques.
Another good choice, Susan; thank you. Enjoyed Jeff McLean’s comments!
September 15th, 2011 at 6:46 am
Thank you for your additions!Using active verbs, getting more specific about benefits, using powerful words, and staying in compliance are worthy goals.
How about “Your portfolio manager uses the latest risk management techniques”? I’m a big believer in the power of “you.” It makes readers perk up.
September 17th, 2011 at 10:08 am
Portfolio managers utilize the most recent techniques to mitigate your investment risk.
September 17th, 2011 at 1:39 pm
Re Susan Weiner’s 15 September comment:
I agree completely about “the power of ‘you.’” The choice here would seem to depend on the context of the comment: Does it pertain to the investment philosophy of the firm or to its services for investors? I assumed the context referred to the firm, in the absence of information about investment objectives to be served by “my” portfolio manager’s approach to risk management.
Thanks, Susan, for stimulating consideration of these nuances!